The Other Side of Love
by Raven Deathstar
Summary: Yugi always thought love was easy. That was before he met Yami now nothing will be the same again. yaoi YYY slight JS


Ok... this idea just came randomly... wrote this in the middle of night, so be kind!!  
  
Warning: contains yaoi which means boy+boy so if you don't like it, then don't read it!  
  
Oh, and a little bit of Yugi angst in this. Not much, cuz he's too adorable!! *squeals*  
  
Everyone else: *sweatdrop*  
  
Pairings: YY/Y and a little bit of J/S  
  
Disclaimer: Of course I own Yu-Gi-Oh... which totally explains the reason why I'm here... writing lousy fanfictions... and not getting paid...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"..." – speech  
  
'...' – thoughts  
  
//...// - Yami to Yugi  
  
/.../ - Yugi to Yami  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Other Side of Love  
  
Yugi had always thought that love would be fluffy, like cotton candy, and just as sweet and simple- one day he would meet the perfect person and everything would be happily ever after.  
  
But here he was, pining away over his yami, who would never return his feelings. Yugi's mouth twisted into a bitter smile, a rare sight on his normally cheerful face.  
  
'He's probably on a date with Anzu right now...' Yugi thought sadly, and peered out the window. 'He could never love me- nobody can.'  
  
He heard the sound of laughing and looked down. His heart twisted in his chest as he saw Anzu kissed his yami gently on the cheek and blush.  
  
Sure, Anzu had been his friend for many years, but still- she was stealing *his* yami.  
  
Yugi coloured, and turned away from the window, unable to watch them any longer. Since when had Yami been his?  
  
Sighing he sat down and started to write in his diary, like he did every other day- he felt that he had to get his thoughts out somehow, otherwise his mind would burst.  
  
His concentration was snapped when someone knocked on the door.  
  
"Yugi? Aibou?" Yami's rich voice floated into the room.  
  
/What is it?/ Yugi snapped, quickly putting up his mental guards. He could feel Yami frown. He could tell that Yami was concerned at why he had snapped at him, but Yugi didn't care. Why should Yami be concerned over him?  
  
'It's not like he cares for me.' the petite boy thought and put away his diary, and opened the door.  
  
Yami stood there, and Yugi was disturbed to see that his clothes and hair were dishevelled, and what looked suspiciously like tear marks on his face.  
  
"Yami? What's wrong?" Yugi asked, taking his appearance in with large amethyst eyes.  
  
"Nothing." it was a lie, and they both knew it.  
  
Yugi felt as if his yami had struck him- didn't Yami trust him? Why wouldn't he tell him what was wrong?  
  
He frowned darkly, then hastily plastered a cheerful smile on his face. "If you're sure. Are you ready for dinner?"  
  
Yami nodded, grateful that his hikari didn't pursue the conversation- he didn't want to tell Yugi that he had just broken up with his best friend because he was deeply and madly in love with him.  
  
A ghost of a smile tugged at Yami's lips- love was such a bittersweet thing, to present him with Yugi, an angel of innocence and beauty, yet hold him just out of his grasp.  
  
He caught Yugi staring at him, and quickly snapped out of his thoughts. "What's the matter, aibou?" Yami asked.  
  
Yugi just shook his head and walked out of the room. Yami frowned- was it just him, or was Yugi getting more and more secretive? He chuckled softly to himself. All this business with Anzu was making him imagine things. If Yugi was troubled, then he would share his thoughts with him- after all, they *were* partners.  
  
'Then why aren't you sharing anything with him...?' a nasty voice -his conscience- whispered in the back of his mind.  
  
Yami shook his head wildly as if to clear it, glad that Yugi had already gone to the kitchen, otherwise he would be getting strange stares. Yugi wouldn't want to be bothered by his thoughts- why bore him with his sorrows?  
  
It never occurred to him that Yugi was thinking the same thing, and that was why he hadn't said anything.  
  
*~*~*  
  
"Where are you going?" Yugi asked from where he lay, his small form sprawled across the couch. He had been watching Yami for the past half an hour, as the dark spirit threw a few things into a bag and prepared to leave.  
  
'I was right... he doesn't like me anymore- he can't wait to get away.' Yugi thought, resisting the urge to burst into tears and sob into his yami's leather jacket. It was just another sign of his weakness, to convince Yami that his aibou was a pathetic excuse of a human being.  
  
The lean figure froze, one hand on the door handle. Yami turned around and saw Yugi frowning at him, his large eyes shining with unshed tears. 'Damn... I thought he was asleep.' Yami thought, cursing inwardly. Out loud, he said, "I'm just going for a walk, aibou. I won't be long."  
  
'He's lying to me, I can tell.' Yugi thought, and he turned his head away, not wanting the pharaoh to see the tears that were now cascading down his face.  
  
/Of course. Have a good night./ Yugi said, using their mental link so that he could hide the sorrow that he felt from his voice.  
  
Yami paused, wondering whether his aibou was upset, but then decided that it would be better if he got his thoughts cleared up first, before coming within a mile radius of his secret love.  
  
How was he supposed to resist those amethyst eyes? Yami wondered, as he strolled down the road, unaware that at that moment Yugi was rumaging through his drawers for a knife, any knife, as long as it could pierce of pale, flawless skin.  
  
Yugi sat on his bed, holding the knife in one hand, holding a watch in his other hand. If Yami wasn't back by midnight... he sobbed. He was probably going to go and visit Anzu. Yami probably couldn't stand the sight of him- that's why he was leaving now, in the dead of the night, when he was supposed to be asleep.  
  
Seconds ticked past, turning into minutes, which soon turned into hours. Finally midnight came and still Yami hadn't returned.  
  
Murmuring a farewell to the world under his breath Yugi quickly slitted his wrists, watching with some twisted sense of satisfaction as crimson blood- the colour of Yami's eyes- fell onto his blankets, staining the white sheets a vibrant red.  
  
Finally, he was free...  
  
*~*~* (no, he doesn't die, ok?)  
  
Yami too a deep gulp of the crisp night air, and rubbed his pounding temples. He wondered what Yugi was up to, unaware that his aibou's life was hanging by a thread.  
  
He heard footsteps approaching him, and opened his eyes, surprised to find a bedraggled looking Jounouchi standing in front of him. "Jounouchi? What are you doing out so late?"  
  
"I could ask ya the same question." Jounouchi sat down next to him and ran a hair through his tousled sandy hair. He sighed. "What would you do, Yam' if the person you loved never ever showed you that they loved you? I mean, seriously, what would you do?"  
  
Yami smiled. "Having Kaiba problems again?"  
  
The other teen went red. "I- I never said- ahh forget it. Yeah, Seto's ignoring me again. It's like, no matter what I do, I'll never be good enough for him." he gave another frustrated sigh. "I can't stand it anymore, Yam'! I mean, I put up with it for a while, 'cause I love him, I honestly do- kinda strange, isn't it, to love Kaiba- but it just doesn't seem as if he really loves me."  
  
"He does love you, Jounouchi. In his own, strange way- you just have to be patient." Yami said kindly. 'And thus speaks the love expert...' the nasty voice in his head said sarcastically.  
  
Suppressing a growl, Yami forced himself to stop thinking of Yugi, and onto Jounouchi. "Why don't you make him jealous? I don't know... maybe you could ignore him, flirt with another person?"  
  
Jounouchi's eyes lit up. "Yeah!! That's a great idea, Yam'! Hey, could you help me?"  
  
"Okay..." Yami said uncertainly, not sure what he was getting himself into. He had planned to be home by midnight at the max, and it was already 1:30am... ah, what the hell, he thought, allowing himself to be dragged by Jounouchi back to Seto's mansion.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Seto Kaiba glared at the clock as if it was all its fault that his boyfriend wasn't home yet. Sure, Jounouchi always stormed out and walked around town after an argument, but he had never been away *this* long before- it had been three hours since had last seen his puppy, and -no matter how much he tried to deny it- he was worried.  
  
Yes, Kaiba the cold, Kaiba the mean, was worried. Worried about his puppy.  
  
Where could he have gotten to? It wasn't as if Jounouchi had any other place to go- they had agreed that he wouldn't return to his alcoholic father. At that moment there was the sound of light footsteps making their way along the corridor drifted into Seto's hearing range, and he smiled.  
  
Ah, there he was.  
  
Silently he made his way to the door and peered down the corridor. Blue eyes open wide, he gasped.  
  
Was that Jounouchi and YAMI?!?! His temper rising dangerously high, Seto resisted the urge to snatch Jounouchi away from that tri coloured haired spirit and claim him for his own.  
  
Instead he walked calmly down the corridor, heels clicking on the polished marble floor.  
  
"Out late again, mutt? Picked up a friend I see." his icy voice showed no sign of any emotion, though secretly his heart was twisting and turning inside his chest, and his mind was churning furiously- what was Jou doing with Yami, of all people? At this time of night? "I suppose you just happened to meet at a park." his tone showed that he believed everything but that.  
  
"Actually we did." Jounouchi said defensively, his fierce brown eyes daring Seto to say otherwise.  
  
The chestnut haired youth snorted disbelievingly, and turned his attention to Yami.  
  
"What are you doing here, pharaoh?"  
  
Yami shrugged. "What do you *think* I'm doing?"  
  
Seto could think of several things- secretly dating HIS Jou, among numerous other things. He glared at the crimson eyed teen furiously. "Get out."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Get out. Get out of my house now!" Seto barked, shaking with uncontrolled fury. He pulled a pleasantly surprised Jou towards him, and wrapped his arms around him protectively. The glare that he directed at Yami clearly said 'he's mine'.  
  
Yami smiled, and left the mansion, glancing behind him at the end of the corridor to find Jounouchi pinned against the wall by Seto who was, rather enthusiastically, planting kisses all over his lover's lean body.  
  
'Mission accomplished.' Yami thought to himself, and grinned. His grin disappeared when he thought of Yugi, who was at home by himself, probably wondering where he was. 'Why is it that I can get other people's love lives sorted out, but not my own?'  
  
Sighing sadly, he began the long walk home.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Yami silently turned the door handle and pushed, but the door held fast.  
  
Curing softly to himself in Ancient Egyptian, Yami tried again, with the same results. Frowning to himself, the dark spirit glared at Yugi's door, as if that would make the door open.  
  
Yet the door remained shut, and Yami knew that his aibou was fast asleep- why else would he have shut their mental link?  
  
He scribbled a message to his hikari and slipped it under the door.  
  
Sighing, he went to his own room and stretched out on his bed, and was soon fast asleep.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Pain filled Yugi's every sense, and he bit back a groan.  
  
Was he dead? No- surely death didn't hurt *this* much. Opening his eyes, he found himself staring at his room. He was still alive.  
  
Tears of frustration ran down his pale cheeks, and he sobbed quietly to himself. Why was it that he failed at everything- he failed to make friends, he failed to win Yami's love, he even failed to end his own life.  
  
Yugi glanced at the scars that lined his wrists and sighed. He could try again.  
  
A note on the floor caught his attention and he forced himself to walk over to the door and pick it up. His heart gave a painful lurch when he saw the familiar, neat writing that was most definitely Yami's on the paper. It read:  
  
~Dear aibou, I hope I didn't worry you last night- I'm afraid Jounouchi was having 'Kaiba' problems which needed sorting out. They're fine now. Are you alright? You seem to be a bit, well, sad lately. Maybe I'm just imagining things. See you at breakfast, Love, Yami~  
  
A hesitant smile pulled at the corners of Yugi's rose coloured lips. Yami *did* care about him after all!  
  
Yugi glanced at the blood covered sheets and quickly bundled them up and stuffed them into the washing machine and looked around for the washing powder. He cursed madly when he found that there was none. He would have to tell his grandfather when he woke up- then he remembered that Sugoroku san was still at his friend's house and wouldn't be back until at least noon.  
  
What if Yami found the sheets? Yugi's heart hammered anxiously, and he nibbled at his bottom lip.  
  
"Yugi?" Yami stood at the doorway, smiling at him. "You're up! Did you get my note?"  
  
"Yeah! Thanks." Yugi quickly pulled him out of the laundry room and into the kitchen, glad that he was wearing long sleeved black pyjamas, so that Yami couldn't see the cuts or the blood. "I'm going to go out and buy some washing powder, okay?"  
  
"Sure thing, aibou." Yami said, trying to muster up the courage to tell his hikari that he loved him, and failing miserably.  
  
'What's this? Me- once the almighty pharaoh of Egypt, scared to confess of his love?' Yami scoffed inwardly, watching as Yugi ran in to his room and came out, dressed in a long sleeved black shirt and his customary leather trousers.  
  
"Aren't you hot in that? It's the middle of summer."  
  
Yugi shrugged. "Guess not." he quickly ran out the door.  
  
'Almost as if he's nervous of something...' Yami thought suspiciously, watching the small figure race down the road from a window. 'As if he's hiding something... the laundry room!' the dark spirit ran into the laundry room and opened the washing machine. 'Aha! What's this? His sheets? He can't possibly have wet his bed, could he? And since when did he have red sheets?'  
  
Then Yami realised that the sheets weren't naturally red. He gasped, and dropped the sheets to the ground, collapsing onto his knees.  
  
No... not his aibou, not his bright, cheerful hikari... why would he do that? He could never- not in a million years, never, not Yugi... Yugi, *his* Yugi, commit suicide? Never...  
  
Yami felt tears of shock and anger- anger at himself, how could he have not realised?- slide down his tanned cheeks, and drip onto the floor. At that moment he heard the door close and someone-Yugi, probably- run up the hallway.  
  
"Yami? Yami, where have you gone?" his cheerful voice rung out in the silent house.  
  
"I- I..." Yami managed to choke out, forcing himself to take deep breaths. Why didn't Yugi tell him? Why didn't he tell him what was going on?  
  
Yugi ran into the laundry room, desperately hoping that Yami hadn't found the sheets. He skidded to a halt when he saw Yami kneeling in the middle of the room, tears falling down his face freely, his crimson eyes containing so much sorrow, so much guilt that it made Yugi want to burst into tears as well.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me? Yugi? Aibou?"  
  
"I- I didn't want to laden you with my life... I'm sorry." Yugi whispered, and fell onto his knees next to him, trying to ignore the blood stained sheets that were strewn across the ground.  
  
"Oh Gods, Yugi-" Yami broke off and embraced his hikari tightly.  
  
//How could you do that? How could you try and kill yourself?// Yami demanded furiously, running his hands up and down Yugi's small frame, as if to reassure himself that his aibou was there, that he was alive. //You nearly *died* Yugi!//  
  
Yugi's reply shocked Yami deeply. /It would've been worth it./  
  
//,,,// Yami was speechless for a few seconds, before he cupped Yugi's face in both of his hands. //How dare you say that. How DARE you say that! Imagine how your grandfather would've felt! Imagine how your friends would react! Imagine- Imagine how I would feel.//  
  
Yugi's eyes glistened with tears, and he tried to pull away from Yami, but his darker half wouldn't let him. /You have Anzu now. I don't see why I would matter to you./  
  
There was a shocked silence, and Yami shook his head wildly, unable to believe what he had just heard.  
  
//Do you honestly think that, Yugi?// he asked sadly. //Do you think that I don't love you? Do you honestly believe that I would place Anzu over you?//  
  
/But you've been spending so much time with her recently... and you've got your own body now.../  
  
//Anzu doesn't matter to me, Yugi. I don't care for her, aibou. I care for you. I would never *ever* leave you, my hikari, so don't you ever think that.// he stroked Yugi's face, his crimson eyes never leaving his aibou's amethyst ones. //I love you so much, Yugi. If you had died, I would've died too. I can't live without you.//  
  
Yugi's eyes widened and he gasped. /You don't mean that!/ he whispered.  
  
"Aishiteru, Yugi."  
  
Hesitantly, shyly, Yugi whispered, "I love you too Yami."  
  
They remained in that position, merely staring at each other, unable to do anything else, until Yami grabbed the smaller boy and kissed him fiercely.  
  
Yugi moaned into the kiss, returning the favour just as enthusiastically, allowing his yami to scoop his frail body into his arms and carry him to his room.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Sugoroku san walked upstairs wearily, his head throbbing from drinking too much wine, calling out his grandson's name, but there was no reply.  
  
He frowned and made his way toward's Yugi's room. Strange noises drifted into his hearing range and he quickly pushed the door open and gasped, and quickly shutted it again.  
  
He must've had too much wine- he could *swear* that he had just seen Yami and Yugi passionately kissing on Yugi's bed.  
  
Ah, the things wine could do to him at his age...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Strange ending, I know. Please R&R no flames, just constructive criticism!!! Arigatou!! 


End file.
